What am I doing on the top of a fifty foot telephone pole you might ask. Well, I asked myself the same question. Now, I have to tell you this was not the first time I did this nor will it be the last. It all started about 20 years ago when I was at the end of my rope. I had been suffering silently for years with an eating disorder and a lot of emotional baggage that came from being sexually abused, that lead me to hurt myself in ways you could never imagine. I was even planning my exit strategy to leave this world until an incredible women lead me in a different direction.[quote align=”center” color=”#999999″]Therapy was like having a scab and having someone rip it off you and send you out raw to heal only to come back the following week to open the wound again. I spent many years opening wounds that never really healed.[/quote]
Five emergency hospitalizations, tons of therapy, self-help programs, support groups, I was looking for the answer and only learning more ways to hurt myself. In a quest to feel whole, I was so smart that I almost missed the answers because they were so easy. In all the turmoil, I felt alone, lost, angry, sad, depressed, isolated, misunderstood, shame, unworthy, broken, not good enough, resentful, self-loathing, never feeling skinny enough, smart enough, pretty enough and trying to fit into other people’s models of what I should look like.
Visiting Dr. Debbie Turner one day she tells me I have to go to see someone and she makes a call to book my trip. I felt I had tried everything else at this point. I had nothing to lose. I remember meeting this guy and asking him if he could help me stop hurting myself and he just looked at me and smiled. The guy was Tony Robbins. What I learned that day is that I already had the power to stop. I just needed to decide. Empowerment is an inside job. It is not something someone can give you, it is something you give you.
Today I can do anything I make my mind up to do. Imagine your possibilities once you decide.